When you’re the Mother of the Bride or Groom, choosing a dress is a whole THING. But when you’re an invited guest there’s a lot that goes into choosing the right outfit, too. You want to dress to the level expected but still be comfortable; you want to look and feel great but also keep in mind where you fit into the group (someone very close to the couple or someone more removed). Here are some tips for choosing the correct dress for the dress code and for your body and budget.

If the dress code is black tie or black tie optional that is helpful to determine the level of formality. Gowns work but so do midi-length dresses in elegant fabrics. I find that many of my clients prefer one silhouette to the other and then choose their preferred style no matter the venue or location. For example, if you’re not a fan of a full-length gown, then a midi dress (hits at mid-calf) in a lovely fabric is equally appropriate and elegant.

Consider colors appropriate to the season

And don’t be afraid to be an “outfit repeater” and wear the same dress to different weddings. Most people find that weddings come in clusters—many friends get married around the same time, then their children get married within a few years of each other, etc. This isn’t always the case, but don’t feel you have to buy a brand new dress for each occasion.

Do keep in mind…

where you fit into the group. If you are quite close to the couple, then a knock-out and somewhat attention-getting dress is appropriate. If you’re a work colleague or someone a bit removed, then wearing a loud color or very noticeable piece may not feel like the right choice.

CONSIDER THE VENUE AND OVERALL LOCATION

Will the wedding take place at a church and then move to a preppy yacht club? Will it be boho chic in a barn? Sophisticated chic in a city hotel ballroom? Those details determine how ‘formal’ the options are. Many of my clients are choosing lovely florals or bright colors in silk, brocade or satin. Again, choose a color and pattern based on your own preferences. A refined fabric will make even a T-shirt dress appropriate for a formal wedding.

Consider your favorite (and not so favorite) parts of your body

Do you love your legs and want to show them off? Then something shorter or high-low in an elegant fabric will work for a formal wedding. Do you prefer to cover your arms? When shopping, select a variety of dresses with sleeves from which to choose. No need to try to make a sleeveless dress work even if you love the rest of it. Are you tired of feeling like a sausage in shapewear? 😊 Then choose dresses with volume throughout the bodice or side-shirring or an A-line silhouette. Do you love your shoulders and arms and feel very fit? Then highlight all the good parts with a more body-conscious cut keeping in mind that balance makes for the most elegant effect: bare on top? Then a little length on bottom will balance that out. Super short mini-dress? Then a bit more coverage (even if it’s sheer) on top will create a balanced and elegant look.

When in doubt, choose an lbd

An elegant black dress always works! An LBD (little black dress) doesn’t really have to be little. It can be a gown or midi-length. I suggest choosing a black dress with some type of interesting design element: a beautiful chiffon sleeve, for example. Or a bit of beading or lace or draping—these details ensure that basic black is anything but basic and you can wear it over and over again.

The Price point…

is completely up to you. The examples I’ve given above start around $150 and go up from there.

Be mindful of your shoes

There is NO NEED to wear pretty shoes that hurt your feet! A wedge, block-heel or platform tends to be much more comfortable than a single-sole stiletto (and much better on grass or outdoors for weddings with that component). Kitten heels are always an elegant choice. Take a look at your formal shoes and update these if you haven’t in a while. Black or a metallic is always appropriate for a formal wedding.

final thought:

If you’ve given attention to your outfit in the ways I describe above, then you really can’t get it wrong. So many women worry that they’re not dressing exactly as the dress code on the invitation suggests. And often those descriptions can be hard to decipher and visualize and realize. Remember: if you look good, then you’ll feel good and then you’ll do good. Own your style and your well-considered choices; then your outfit will be perfect. Go confidently to enjoy the celebration of love! There’s nothing quite like that public declaration of two people choosing to commit their lives to one another 💗

Reach out if you'd like some help with this!